Author Brenda-Lee Ranta – Cancer of Functionality

an excerpt from my book

Creative Talents Unleashed

I wish I could rip fear out of my chest;

surgical solution, like a tooth extraction

Immobilizing fear from nowhere,

gripping fear from everywhere

Reduced; a woman to child in seconds,

humiliated, my shaking hands are visible,

dry tongue pasted firmly to my palate,

thundering heart, breath shallow, thin,

ears abuzz, louder than fluorescent lighting,

racing thoughts of dread, trying to escape,

“where are the exits?” a self escape even

Houdini can’t accomplish; trapped inside

with yourself, wanting to simply vanish

immobilizing fear from nowhere

gripping fear from everywhere

Shame will come later, once the terror

leaves, begging it to leave; “please leave,”

how can I be so strong and withstand this;

how can I be so weak and allow this?

Proficient to inept in one fell swoop,

detesting myself, then forgiving myself,

damned dichotomy, cursed dichotomy,

this affliction, this condition, this raging

cancer of functionality; putrid anxiety!

Immobilizing fear…

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