Throng – Author Brenda-Lee Ranta

An excerpt from my book..

Creative Talents Unleashed

I stood in the throng

there was a drone of voices

talking, laughing, chattering

I felt a disconnect;

unplugged from the outlet

just invisible, observing

Animated faces, gesturing,

joking; I laughed at what

had not registered, it was rote

It was familiar to be present

but not there, just absent

Lonely in a crowd, ill-fitting

I walked, I nodded, responding

vaguely, searching for words

Smiling on cue, appropriate

I questioned, epilepsy, social

anxiety, generalized anxiety?

I decided none of those fit

It would have deemed me to

have all of those for my lifetime

Settling on disengagement

Alone with my friend, in her

car, I returned: present, alive

My ability to articulate, returned

My husband would tell me

I did well, it was good for me

It was neither, it was deja vu

Crowds make me invisible

in a way I don’t comprehend

Solitary people are like that. I am…

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